


피어나는 Flashing Light

by heartjoongs (krucxa)



Series: Raise me up, Take me up [4]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: (eyes emoji), Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Aromantic, Asexual Character, Attempt at Humor, Blood and Injury, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Partial Mind Control, Polyamory, Sequel, bc im ace and i said so, bc.. again.. theyre superheroes ghksj, if u dont like stuff like that i advise. uh skipping the description part??, jongho is aro ace !!, no beta we die like men, spoiler ahead????, the person who does san's make up Deserves A Raise, there Will be some violence., uhh san's a confident gay Until Proven Otherwise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-10-31 14:03:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17850905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krucxa/pseuds/heartjoongs
Summary: San would like to think that he's at least somewhat as charming and graceful on the daily as he is while wearing the mask.





	1. 떨린다 떨린다

**Author's Note:**

> ayy i'm back!! so. here it is!! and this time it's from......... san's perspective!! woo
> 
> tbh this chapter was supposed to be way longer but.. ig a lot already happens in it so i decided to cut it a lil earlier fkhsjdh
> 
> anyway!! this is unbeta'd, as always - it's me, after all djsbdj but still!! i hope that u'll like this!! <33

San would like to think that he's at least somewhat as charming and graceful on the daily as he is while wearing the mask.

Neither people around him or his friends seem to think so, but, his friends don't think he's ever either charming nor graceful, really, so it's not like their opinion matters, anyway.

And _okay_ , maybe he doesn't exactly seem like that at the moment, but hey, nobody would, not at such an early hour. At least that's what he keeps telling himself as he stumbles into the bathroom at five in the morning, carefully dabbing concealer onto his skin, because it's not like he's blind to the deep dark circles under his eyes or the bedhead that some people could actually pull off, but on him just looks like a birds' nest.

It's not like he's ever actually witnessed anyone looking their best this early, so it doesn't take him much until he starts to believe it ㅡ nobody manages to look stunning between the awful hours of eleven pm and seven in the morning.

(Maybe except one person. A certain person that shares his morning classes, a fellow dance major he hasn't known for that long yet, but he's pretty sure he would rip his own lungs out for he boy, if he ever asked him to.

Not that Wooyoung actually would. But San's kind of extra like that.)

He squints at his reflection in the mirror, struggling with liquid eyeliner and he muffles a curse when his hand trembles and the line smudges in a way that is definitely not what people would call aesthetic. It's not even an artistic mess. Only a mess in general.

Blindly grabbing at a swipe, he washes it off before trying again.

It takes him two more failed attempts and a few exasperated sighs until it finally looks acceptable enough, and he doesn't grumble any louder than a whisper because he values his roommate ㅡ sometimes, that is.

Then he realizes he still has the other eye left and he forgets about keeping quiet, a whimper rumbling out of his throat.

This is it. This is what's actually gonna be his demise. Makeup.

Makeup can be hard, especially when one's barely awake enough to stand upright.

But it makes him look fucking fantastic, in his own humble opinion, so even as his wallet sheds a few tears every time he compulsively buys new cosmetics, it's worth being too broke for an actual lunch for a week.

Most people seem to like keeping things natural. Light, brown eyeshadow, nude lipsticks, scented chaptsicks and all that. While, sure, the latter he quite enjoys, his taste in things is a little bit... different.

He likes flashy, he likes making his look a statement. He likes things that somehow manage to look both emo and extravagant, because he likes to think of himself as open minded and he likes to try out new things. He likes blue eyeliner, he likes double coloured hair, and he likes simple black clothes paired with a single touch of flamboyant, be it a strong makeup or painted nails, ripped jeans or a pastel choker.

Jongho calls it messy but San doesn't really care. He doesn't take fashion advice from someone who's never stepped out of a hoodie.

Besides, _he_ 's the one that Seonghwa calls for help when he has no idea what to wear for special occasions (which mostly just turn out to be dates with Hongjoong, but San still counts that as a win), so every time San eloquently replies, _die mad about it_.

(Really, they're friends. And good ones at that. It's just that Jongho isn't good with expressing his emotions and San needs his daily dose of attention, so sometime between them meeting for the first time and casually calling each other friends, they somehow managed to make half of the campus believe they hate each other.)

_Shit_ , campus.

He forgot about his unfortunately real morning classes while questioning his life choices and now he's not only late but also, he still hasn't even started to outline the other eye, and it only takes him as second before he decides, scratch that.

He can manage to miss his first lecture if that means he can make himself look at least somewhat presentable.

Yeah. San has his priorities set straight, even if that's the only thing straight about him.

➳

"So," the single word makes San stop mid-chew, and he glances up at Seonghwa questioningly. The older is openly staring at him, his gaze prying and he squints before continuing, "I heard you didn't show up to your first lecture."

San only blinks back at him wordlessly, gulping down his sandwich with a shrug, and only then does he reply, "uh, yeah."

He watches as Seonghwa's eyebrow quirks up, his food still untouched despite there only being five minutes left until the end of the break. Despite that, the canteen is still full of people, because they're daredevils apparently.

San can't really judge them, though, because he's here as well. He scrunches his nose at the thought. Does that make him a daredevil, too?

"Why?"

The question brings his attention back to the conversation, and he juts his lower lip out, one of his hands reaching up to wave vaguely at his own face, "you know, _this_ ," at that, he points his finger directly at the eyeliner, "needs a lot of work to look this good."

Seonghwa nods, processing the information, before San notices the corner of his mouth twisting up and before he has the time to shush the older, he's already speaking up, "you sure it looks good?"

" _Seonghwa_ ," he whines, wiggling in place childishly as he pouts, and he only whimpers louder when the older bursts into a full-body laughter. Why are they even friends, again?

It takes Seonghwa a while until he finally calms down, as every time he as much as glances at San's sulking expression, he guffaws again, until San finally kicks his shin under the table to get him to shut up.

"Okay, okay, I'm just teasing you," the blonde huffs out, smiling back at San's accusatory glare, "you _know_ you look cute."

At that, he straightens in his seat, puffing out his chest in satisfaction. It gains him a chuckle from the older, which only adds in to his good mood, and he takes the last bite of his sandwich before shooting Seonghwa a hopeful glance and murmuring, "even cuter than Hongjoong?"

He doesn't have to hear Seonghwa's reply, though, because the boy's face twists immediately, clearly troubled, and God, he almost looks in pain. Now that would make San feel insulted, if he didn't know just how whipped the blonde is for his boyfriend.

"You know what, whatever," he adds in before Seonghwa can even part his lips to form a response, "you're biased, anyway."

At that, the older seems relieved, his shoulders relaxing and he looks down at his own food, contemplative, until he finally mumbles, "I guess you're right."

(Truth be told, as happy as he is for his best friend, seeing Seonghwa in such a good relationship makes some part of his brain, the tiny, selfish gremlin at the back of his mind, slightly jealous.

Not the angry kind of jealous, though, of course. He's not like that. He really _is_ happy for Seonghwa.

It's just, the sad kind of jealous.

Because he sees the way Seonghwa's face lights up at any mention of his boyfriend. He _knows_ how much the two care for each other. And sometimes, just sometimes, he lets himself admit it ㅡ he wishes, he made someone feel this way, too.)

➳

San likes to tell himself he doesn't have the time for a relationship, anyway.

He knows it's not a good excuse. Sure, he might be a superhero, but it's not like the other members of ATEEZ don't have any types of a love life of their own. Seonghwa is together with their leader, after all, and San thinks there might be something going on between Leo and Yunho. Sure, he might be the only one to notice this, and maybe it isn't even actually _romantic_ , but it doesn't seem exactly what most would call platonic, either.

But then there's Jongho. He's both aromantic and asexual, which San finds comfort in, as a fellow ace.

Even though their opinions on relationships differ, as Jongho _definitely_ doesn't want any, preferably ever, and San is a hopeless romantic, wishing for someone to swoop him off his feet already, the fact still makes him feel a little bit better. He's not alone in _this_.

(Whatever it actually means.)

He tugs at his mask self-consciously. It's not often that he finds himself alone at their base; most of the time, he's only called in by Yunho when the others need help or he just slides into the building when he knows some of the members are already inside.

Because like Hongjoong, his power isn't one that could be used from a distance. In order to be useful, he needs to be able to _touch_ the person he wants to slip into unconsciousness.

But unlike Hongjoong, his power isn't as, well, _powerful_ , for the lack of a better word.

It's not that he wants his power to be a dangerous one, no, it just doesn't sound cool when someone asks what he can do and his only reply is, _well, I can make people fall asleep_. Like, he could probably do that without even using his power. He's pretty sure he's just boring like that.

That's what irks him the most. In between all of these amazing Supers, he's the only one that doesn't really stand out.

Because there's Gemini, who can make things levitate with a single thought, and then there's Jongho, who can momentarily control the living and use their own bodies against them. Even Sagittarius' power seems so much more _awesome_ compared to his, with all of his hallucinations and illusions alike, both visual or auditory, hell, maybe even falling under all the senses, for all that San actually knows about the Super's power.

His eyebrows furrow as he glances down, gaze immediately licking on to his hands. Why was he at their base, in the first place?

And not even in the depressing, I-don't-deserve-to-be-here sense. Just, why did he even bother coming here when it's not even yet the time for his patrol, when no one actually asked him to come here?

Maybe his own mind is trying to tell him something. But maybe also his mind is an idiot, or maybe it forgot that San is an idiot, as well, because he has no idea what it even could be trying to tell him, as he stands in the empty hall by Yunho's office.

Oh, yeah. He almost forgot. He's not _actually_ alone here.

Yunho's here too, he always is. He's just locked in his room, waiting for any information on what's happening at any given moment, for details on their ongoing missions, and maybe even for his own visions.

San's pretty sure the older doesn't even notice his presence, though. There's a thick wall between them, it should be enough to hide his emotions from Yunho's empath powers. Or, wait, scratch that, is it?

San doesn't really know how Yunho's power works, so he just hopes it is. He doesn't want to worry the other with his own mess of feelings.

He doesn't expect it when the door of the boy's office opens, though, and Yunho peeks his head out to glance questioningly right at him.

_Damn_.

"Is there any mission I could help with?" he rushes to ask before the older even has the time to say anything, and Yunho's already parted lips snap shut as he seems to process the question. His eyes bounce back to the inside of his room, probably to check on something, before he meets San's gaze again.

"Uh, not at the moment, I think."

San visibly deflates at that, because he knows there's no way for him to hide his current emotions from the empath; there's no point in even trying, then, and he catches Yunho smiling at him apologetically from the corner of his eye.

"Hey, buddy, don't worry, I'm sure you'll be needed in like, an hour or something," he says, making San's eyes snap back up to him, and San juts out his lower lip in thought before he replies.

"Did you see it happening in your visions or are you just telling me that to make me feel better?"

Yunho tilts his head to the side, a bashful smile pulling at his lips, "uh, both?"

"That. It can't be both, that makes no sense," he mumbles back, squinting up at the older who squirms under his gaze, shifting his weight from one leg to another as he keeps standing in the doorway.

His eyes follow Yunho's hand closely as it reaches up to scratch at the back of his neck, and the boy shrugs before he stutters on an explanation, "I mean, I _did_ see you drowsing some robbers, but it's just thatㅡ" he interrupts himself, glancing down for a second before meeting his eye again, "you seemed kind of upset, so. I wanted to make you feel better."

And San can only pout back at him in reply, because hey, how could anyone be as stupidly _nice_ as Yunho?

He knows the older will surely be able to feel his gratitude, but honestly, he doesn't really care. Actually, no, he does. Quite a lot, to be precise. It's easier to let Yunho know by letting him reflect the emotions, though, rather than actually telling him.

Because even San gets shy at times, and right now is a good example of that.

"Oh," he murmurs, stuttering on his own words, "Iㅡ thanks."

And Yunho, the angel in disguise, shoots him a smile before opening the door a bit wider, his presence welcoming, "you wanna come in?"

Nodding, he shuffles closer, and he knows he's already feeling better than moments ago, as he replies with a hushed, "yeah. yeah, sure."

➳

It's Seonghwa that showed him the coffee shop for the first time.

It's already been months since then, but the café still remains the same. It's not exactly the most popular place in the town, but it's up there. San has no idea whether that's because it's the only one in the area, or maybe because it's just that enjoyable.

It just has this comfortable vibe about it, no matter at what hour San stumbles in, be it in the morning before his classes or late at night, after a rather light patrol.

There's something comforting about this place.

It grew on San over time, every time he joined Seonghwa on his way there or when he only came in to check up on Hongjoong. Now, no matter how cheesy it sounds, it kind of feels like a place that he finally belongs in.

But he's so used to seeing Hongjoong's familiar face by the counter, that it takes him approximately ten seconds of awkward eye contact to realize ㅡ that's not Hongjoong. There's a new waiter.

And, San is staring at him like a fucking idiot.

Ducking his head, he immediately bails to the nearest, empty table, hands searching through his school bag for his wallet. Only when he finally finds it, pulling it out with a satisfied hum, does he glance again at the waiter.

The boy isn't looking at him, fortunately. Instead, his gaze is locked to the ground, as he taps his foot against the ground in what San assumes must be a nervous habit. There's a certain stiffness about the way he holds himself, and now that San _really_ takes a look at his face, he notices that, shit, the stranger is actually kind of cute.

The next second, the boy's head snaps up like an alerted puppy, and his eyes land straight on San.

Freezing, San doesn't even dare avert his gaze, as if it would ruin some kind of spell that fell between them, and he can only watch as the waiter makes his way to the table San's sitting by. Despite his rather normal pace, to San it seems almost agonizingly slow, because his entire world slows down and the sudden silence could only be described as awkward.

But San doesn't do awkward. He takes pride in his, somewhat frantic, social skills. He has suffered enough to learn his way with people, so he curses himself in his mind before plastering a smile to his face, as genuine as he possibly can at the moment.

Finally, _finally_ , the boy stops in front of San's seat, and he doesn't really meet San's eye, as if the boy was scared it would offend him in some weird way. Fingers tugging at the end of his sleeve anxiously, his lips part before he says, "what would you like to order?"

And San is, well, San. You can't really blame him for his _particular_ remarks, it's his defence mechanism whenever he gets nervous.

And so, a blank "your heart?" slips past his lips before he can ever think otherwise, not for the first time in his life cursing his lack of a brain-to-mouth filter, but he can see the way the boy's eyes widen almost comically, his cheeks dusting pink in no time, so he counts that as a win.

"Thㅡ that's not on the menu," the stranger stutters, his eyes flitting up to meet San's gaze for a second before widening and shifting down again. It's kind of cute, he has to admit, but he can tell how nervous the boy is, and he can't tease him anymore. Not at the moment, as least.

So he hums, as if thinking over his options, like he doesn't order the same thing every single time, before he smiles at the other, hoping it comes off as reassuring as it possibly could, "just, one hot chocolate, please," but then, he _is_ feeling kind of hungry. He's only eaten one thing today, the bland sandwich at lunch break that wasn't even good, and he guesses he has the right to get something that actually tastes nice right now.

Cheesecake sounds good, so that's what he orders, and he watches as the boy nods hastily before retreating.

There's something familiar about the stranger, that San just can't put his finger on. It seems as if the boy recognized him from somewhere, but then again, the other just could be really shy or anxious, it's normal. So, San doesn't dwell on it too much, but he does file the information at the back of his mind, and he grins at the other in thanks when he comes back with San's order.

"What's your name?" he asks, casually leaning closer, his hand resting on the table in front of him and he sees the way the waiter's grip on his drink falters for a moment, before carefully laying it in front of San, but he chooses not to comment on it.

The boy's eyebrows twitch, and he nibbles on his lip before replying, "Yeosang."

"Cool," he replies, hand reaching for the pleasantly warm cup, "I'm San. My friend, Hongjoong, works here, I'm sure you know him by now?"

Yeosang nods slowly, his stance stiff, as if he wasn't expecting San to start any small talk, unsure whether he should stay or get back to work.

"Great! He's a big softie, so you're in good hands," thumb rubbing a comfortable circle on the handle of the cup, a thought strikes him and he can't hold back a chuckle, "he probably already considers you his adopted child, so don't be surprised if he acts like some overprotective dad."

He glances up at Yeosang, the boy staring back at him quizically ㅡ but at least he finally meets San's gaze, contrary to his wandering eyes before ㅡ and he mumbles a simple _okay_ , that sounds more like a question than an actual statement. But it's an actual, verbal reply, so San only sends him a small smile back before the other turns back, already off to his work.

San doesn't really know what to think about Yeosang, but he has to admit ㅡ the boy's piqued his interest.

➳

He only gets back to his dorm around two in the morning, but that's fine. He's already used to having a basically non-existent sleep schedule.

Taking off his shoes, he notices a familiar pair of sneakers already tucked neatly into the corner by the door, and he puts his own shoes next to them as quietly as he can before walking over to the bathroom.

Carefully, he washes away his makeup, wincing at his own reflection in the mirror. His mascara is smeared over his cheekbone, probably a result of rubbing at his eye while he tried to keep himself from falling asleep at the coffee shop, but it vanishes easily with a few swipes, so he doesn't think about it more.

(Except for a second, when he ponders whether the new waiter, Yeosang, noticed him messing up his own makeup or not.)

After his face is finally bare, he dabs on the moisturiser, and after taking his vitamins, he applies a bit of lip balm and makes his way to his bedroom.

His hand rests on the handle for a moment as he listens for any signs of his roommate being awake, and he slowly pushes the door open when he doesn't hear any. And, sure enough, he can see the top of Mingi's head poking up from his blanket, visibly curling in on himself in the bed that's just a tad too small for such a giant.

San's also pretty sure he can kind of see one of his plushies being cuddled by the boy under the sheets, and the fact makes him a tiny bit happy, that the younger missed him enough to steal a plushie of his.

Now that San actually thinks about it, the fact that they're roommates seems kind of funny.

Because it only took him around a week to realize that Mingi's unusually long trips to the grocery store aren't actually what the younger wanted him to believe. Sure, Mingi still went shopping after his patrols, probably because he felt guilty enough about not telling San the truth, but San's always been the type to quickly pick up on the details, and really, it's not that hard to figure out that Mingi's Leo, when the boy's best friends with both Hongjoong _and_ Yunho.

But San doesn't want to make the younger feel bad, neither about being caught or about his, admittedly, far from perfect acting skills, so he only smiles and plays the good roommate's part.

Because he likes Mingi, truly. The boy is probably the best roommate San's had up to this point. As much as the other forgets to do his chores sometimes, he's nice enough about it, and helps San with some of his work as an apology, instead. The boy gets San's sense of humour, he clearly cares about San's well being and he doesn't hesitate to skip his classes when San gets sick, just to take care of him.

San tries to repay him in every way possible, but it's kind of hard when Mingi's literally the nicest person San's ever met. Maybe even nicer than Yunho. And certainly nicer than Seonghwa.

He's kind of like a puppy, San deems one day. Or maybe more like a kitten, considering his alias.

So San tries his best not to wake up the younger as he climbs into his own bed, not even bothering to change into any kind of sleepwear ㅡ he's too tired to do that, anyway ㅡ and even if one of his plushies is missing, he still falls asleep with a smile.

➳

It's really not surprising that as a dance major, he prefers the practical classes over boring lectures.

What can he say? Even if after the two hours of practicing he's so exhausted he can barely stand upright, and even if he has to stumble into a shower before he can finally catch some sleep, it's still the most fun he ever has in classes.

Like right now, as he tips his head to the side gently, his hand at his chin and pulling lightly, he finds it almost too easy to reciprocate the smile Wooyoung's sending him from where he's standing a few steps in front of San.

Unlike San, who prefers to wear leggings and sleeveless shirts to the practices, Wooyoung's wearing sweats paired with a hoodie, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. San could never understand why the younger would like it, as it already gets too hot for him at times without even having anything thrown over his arms, not to mention a _hoodie_.

But somehow, Wooyoung seems fine with it, and the boy manages to look breathtaking even when his hair sticks to his forehead with sweat after the classes. San thinks it's kind of unfair.

He sighs, resting his palms on top of Wooyoung's shoulders and waiting for the boy to do the same, before they back away a couple of steps, leaning down to stretch their backs.

The thing that San's noticed about Wooyoung early on, is that the boy is always careful when it comes to stretching with someone, never pushing too hard and even if it does happen, that the stretch starts to sting, the boy would always pull away immediately after noticing, an apology already at the tip of his tongue.

It's why San likes having the younger as his stretching partner, and it's hard to hide his disappointment whenever anyone else snatches Wooyoung before him.

He takes a deep breath through his nose, holding it in for some time before releasing it slowly, and it doesn't surprise him that Wooyoung picks up on it.

"You okay?" the boy murmurs, quiet enough not to disturb the rest of the class, and San nods before realizing the other doesn't see him, their eyes locked on the wooden floor.

"Yeah, just a little tired," he mumbles back, trying to match the volume of Wooyoung's whisper.

The boy huffs out a silent chuckle in reply, and San can feel his shoulders moving along under his palms, though he doesn't get why the younger seems so amused.

"That's what you get for skipping classes."

"Oh, shut up," but then, "you noticed?"

Wooyoung's grip on his shoulder tightens a bit, a sing that San already got used to before they pull back up to stand, and he reaches his hands above his head in an easy stretch. Wooyoung stops, though, resting his palms on the hem of his sweats as he stares at San, one of his eyebrows raised challengingly, "obviously. How could I _not_ notice the absence of my stretching buddy?"

It's San's turn to stop, and he tilts his head as he glances back at Wooyoung, puzzled, "but I thought Changbin joins you on the morning practices?"

"On Tuesdays, yeah, but we don't share the class on Wednesdays," the boy replies easily and San can only mumble back an _ah_ , unsure what else he could say. It's okay, though, because Wooyoung only shrugs before he's already back to grinning, "just, don't do it too often, okay? I was worried you got sick or something."

And San can only smile back at him, even though he feels a little bad about making the younger worry, "okay."

➳

It isn't until Seonghwa crashes at his dorm that San brings up something that's been bothering him lately.

"Hey, uh, Seonghwa?" he mumbles from his spot on his bed, his face partly smushed into the pillow under his best friend's weight, and the older hums questioningly in reply, but doesn't bother getting up, his head resting comfortably on San's chest.

The blonde is scrolling through the feed on his phone, and if San tipped his head forward just enough, he'd be able to see what Seonghwa's currently looking at, but he's honestly too lazy to do that right now.

"You've never really told anyone about what happened on your, uh... suicide mission."

The older's fingers still at the words, and San can see the older turning off his phone from the corner of his eye. They don't say anything as Seonghwa let's his phone fall onto San's stomach, and San does his best at hiding his wince at the quiet _thump_ it makes.

"Well, I guess I justㅡ" the blonde drifts off, his gaze locked on the ceiling as he nibbles at his lip. San can read his best friend like a book by now, so it's not that hard to tell that whatever happened there, isn't something that Seonghwa likes to think about, especially as his shoulders stiffen before he tries again, "I don't know, it just makes me a bit... uncomfortable."

At that, San finally turns his head to glance at Seonghwa, "you know, you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

"No," the older says, almost too quickly, and it only makes San just a tiny bit more worried than he was just seconds ago, "I do want to tell you. It's just that, I didn't even tell _Hongjoong_ yet, and it's definitely something the leader should know about, as much as I don't like the thought of it."

San keeps silent as Seonghwa takes a deep breath, probably to calm his mind, before he continues, "there was... the Illusionist. Bust also, not really?"

Confused, San only blinks in reply before nodding at the older for him to go on, "like, we know that the Illusionist must be a Super, yeah? And he was waiting for me there, just not, uh, in personㅡ"

"What?" he can't stop the word from slipping, and Seonghwa only purses his lip, as if the blonde wasn't exactly sure himself.

"He calls himself the Illusionist, so we'd all think that his power is exactly that, illusions, right? But I don't think that's actually it," his eyebrows furrow as he keeps his stare locked onto the ceiling, and he seems conflicted to say his theory out loud, "there just was... _someone_. Like, he acted just like the Illusionist, and he looked just like Hongjoong said he did, but there were moments when he'd seem like an entirely different person, as if... as if, maybe, just maybe, the Illusionist was only, I don't know, controlling him?" at San's surprised hum, the blonde rushes to elaborate, "you know, that would explain why he would suddenly be _here_ , and not in the Strays' area. Especially since... it just seemed too fake, too messy. His movements seemed like more of of a doll's than an actual human. I think... I think, the Illusionist isn't _actually_ here. He's just using someone against their will to mess with us."

"Wait, you mean, like, similiar to Libra's power?" he interrupts again, but the older only shakes his head quickly.

"No, no, Libra only partly controls others, like he can make your hand move or whatever. But that, that seemed more like," his gaze hardens as he looks for the best way to put it, "like the controlled isn't even conscious of it."

After Seonghwa's done explaining, silence follows, and San scrunches his nose as he processes the new information. It's hard to believe at first, but it does actually make sense, but there's one thing he doesn't get, "but why?"

He watches as Seonghwa winces, his lips twisting in such a way it almost looks painful, and his voice is hushed as he admits, "I don't know. And... that's what irritates me the most."

(Even if San acts like it doesn't bother him too much, he can't help but overthink it when he's finally alone.)

➳

The next time he shows up at the café, Hongjoong's there ㅡ but he's not alone, and San can't hold back the smile that tugs at his lips at the sight of Yeosang standing next to the older boy.

He takes a seat by the exit, waiting until either of the boys notices him, and surprisingly, it's Yeosang that first meets his gaze, his cheeks immediately dusting pink before he elbows Hongjoong lightly and makes his way to San's table, the older following him confusedly before his face lights up when he finally notices San.

He waves at the two in greeting, and only calls out when he thinks they're close enough to hear him, "hey, Joong! And Yeosang! How's the shift?"

Yeosang only shrugs wordlessly as Hongjoong waddles over to sit on the other side of the table, facing San with a relieved grin, "it's going pretty slowly, thank God. I'm too tired to deal with too many people today," as if the words weren't enough, San notes the deep circles under his eyes that seem even darker than usual, "but, what about you? How was your week?"

He can't help but wince at the question, "I, uh. I kinda skipped a class because I was too busy doing my makeup and accidentally made a cute guy worry about me."

Hongjoong seems to find that amusing, as he huffs out a disbelieving laugh, and Yeosang only tilts his head to the side, although San's pretty sure he can see his lips quirking up a bit, "really?" Hongjoong says after he catches his breath, eyeing San curiously, "what's the cute guy's name?"

"Wooyoung," he replies easily, and he _almost_ doesn't notice the way Yeosang's lips part in surprise. Almost.

"What?" he says, glancing at the boy in question, who seemingly hesitates before answering, "Wooyoung? As in, Jung Wooyoung?"

When San nods, he's not sure whether Yeosang looks amused or like he's about to faint. Maybe both.

Because the other groans softly, his hand reaching up to hide his face before he murmurs, "your cute boy is actually, kind of, my best friend."

At the words, San freezes.

Because, really, it's not like he didn't expect the shy Yeosang to have friends, no ㅡ it's just that, he didn't expect him to get along with someone like Wooyoung. The nice, chirpy, social butterfly Wooyoung. But at the same time, when he really thinks about it, it kind of makes sense. San has no idea how to explain it, but the two share that same vibe, the one that San can't help but feel pulled into, the one that feels comfortable, feels like something San would like to call _home_.

Snapping back to reality, he can hear Hongjoong going _oooh_ from the other side of the table, and when he turns to stare at the older, he's resting his head on his hands, his lips parted into an o shape, and he grins before saying, "the plot thickens."

It startles out a chuckle from San ㅡ which, honestly, might've actually been more of a snort, and when he looks back at Yeosang, the boy is already staring back at him, one of his eyebrows lifted in amusement.

"And here I thought you already had a crush on Gemini," Hongjoong adds, his voice hushed as he leans over the table, though San's unsure whether Yeosang heard it or not ㅡ if he did, he doesn't show it, but there might be pink tinting at his ears, though it might also be just the lighting, so.

But then, why would that make him blush in the first place? It would make no sense, so he guesses it was actually just a trick of the light.

San furrows his eyebrows as he turns back again to Hongjoong, his voice dropping to a whisper as well, "I have no idea what you mean," and even if Hongjoong doesn't seem to believe him, San ignores it, his tone back to normal as he adds, "I'm poly amory, anyway, so don't even try shaming me for having a few more crushes."

Despite the harsh words, they all know it's only meant as a joke, and Hongjoong chuckles softly as Yeosang seems to process the new information, before the older pushes himself up to a stand. He tugs at Yeosang's sleeve, apparently having deemed it enough time spent lazying around on their job, and the other mumbles out a, "wait, what aboutㅡ"

But Hongjoong doesn't let him finish, "he always orders hot chocolate, there's no need to ask anymore."

And San watches as Yeosang steals a glance at him, immediately turning away when he realizes San is still staring back at him, and maybe the fact makes San crack a smile. Maybe.

➳

"Cancer."

He turns his head to glance back at the newcomer, nodding in greeting at Gemini who seems hesitant to walk closer, Sagittarius' head poking from behind the Super as the boy stares at him curiously. San wasn't expecting anyone to come talk to him, even less two people, at that.

So he turns around fully, blinking at the two in confusion, until Sagittarius speaks up, "why are you on the rooftop? Nobody actually comes up here."

He only shrugs in reply, because really, "that's, uh, actually the reason."

Sagittarius only looks even more confused at that, and Gemini tilts his head before he finally takes a few steps towards San, letting his hands rest on the railing. It doesn't take much time for Sagittarius to follow, and he leans over the railing on San's other side, his eyes wandering down the walls of their base as Gemini keeps his own gaze locked on San.

"It's... quiet, here. And you know, even _I_ like some peace sometimes," he adds in eventually, when neither of the Supers say anything more.

Gemini nods in response, his fingers fiddling with his mask, and that's when San notices itㅡ there's a small, barely visible from his angle, birthmark on the side of his face, right behind his left eye. San isn't sure whether it's because of the mask that he hasn't noticed it before, or because they barely ever get in such a close proximity, but the fact that it's just, _there_ , is actually kind of cute.

But the spell shatters when Sagittarius opens his mouth again, "really? I wouldn't have guessed."

He rolls his eyes, reaching out his leg to kick the Super's shin, and the boy whines almost immediately, "shut up."

(What comes as a surprise to him, is that he actually quite enjoys Gemini and Sagittarius keeping him company on the rooftop.

Even if he went there specifically to be alone, it doesn't feel right after the duo finally leaves around an hour later, and he doesn't even spend five more minutes there before he goes back inside the building.)

➳

There's one thing about sharing a dorm with Mingi that he absolutely _adores_.

Go ahead and call him lazy or whatever, but San never actually goes out of his way to make his own food. It's not that he's a bad cook ㅡ he's pretty decent in his own opinion.

He just doesn't enjoy it so much to make the room for it in his already pretty busy schedule, so he just. Doesn't.

Usually he just orders takeout on his way back to their dorm, or maybe even order a pizza when he's already inside and doesn't feel like leaving his room again. Sure, it might not be the healthiest lifestyle, and as a dance major, he should probably take care of his own self better.

But if there's one thing that San never really grew out of, it would be his unhealthy eating habits.

But then again. Sometimes, when he finally gets back to their dorms, he can't help but deem Mingi an angel sent from heaven, one that San needs but really doesn't deserve.

Because.

He throws his bag carelessly across the living room as he makes his way to the dorm's tiny kitchen. He's pretty sure he hears a low _thunk_ as it lands somewhere near the couch, and it's probably going to be a problem later but right now, he doesn't pay it any attention.

Because as his eyes scan the kitchen, he notices something that wasn't there as he left for his classes that morning ㅡ and there, on the counter, lays a carefully wrapped box.

Tilting his head to the side, he blinks at it owlishly before taking a few steps closer. There's a note attached, and he can't hold back a smile when he notices Mingi's familiar handwriting.

Tugging it off with careful fingers, he quickly reads the message.

And it rips a chuckle out of his throat. Because Mingi _knows_ how much San likes cake. They talked about their favorite foods about two days after Mingi moved in, because as it turns out, they're both quite passionate about the topic ㅡ but San clearly remembers Mingi's own opinion about it.

_I bought a little bit too much cheesecake_ , the boy explains in the middle of the rushed message, as if San didn't know better.

Because Mingi's kind of like an angel. And as San opens the box, his grin widening with every second, he once again wonders just how lucky he is to have the younger as his roommate.

After all, San _knows_. Mingi doesn't even _like_ cheesecake.

(Now that he thinks about it, maybe San should buy the other a present back.

The younger seemed to like San's teddy bear plushie. Maybe, just maybe, he already has an idea.)

➳

He's in the middle of a lecture when his phone starts ringing.

At first, he reaches out to turn it off, an apology already at the tip of his tongue, but then he notices who, exactly, is calling him.

The phone vibrates to the sound of CLC's _No_ , Mingi's name appearing on the screen and that's exactly what makes San freeze. Because he knows his roommate well enough to know, that the other prefers texting. He never _actually_ calls.

His heart leaps before falling down to the tip of his stomach, and he can only stutter out a nervous _sorry_ before he's already leaving the room. Closing the door, he accepts the call with a shaking thumb ㅡ and as he's met with silence, he nibbles on his lip before murmuring, "uh, hello?"

"Shit, _San_ ㅡ Hongjoong told me to call you, we needㅡ" the boy trails off, something between a sigh and a groan following his words, and it only makes San's worry spike up even more, because he didn't expect the younger to sound so _distressed_ , "Iㅡ you're Cancer? God, I guess that's what I get for respecting your privacy while healing youㅡ uh, no, this isn't what I called you for."

The boy interrupts himself again, taking a deep breath, and San's only a second away from telling him to just spit it out, because really, this isn't helping his anxiety ㅡ but then, Mingi finally speaks up again, "it's Sagittarius. We don't know what happened, he justㅡ he rushed into the base, he won't talk to us, and he looks fucking _traumatized_. I think he might be hurt but he won't let me check. It's justㅡ _please_ , come here as soon as possible, we're running out of ideas but maybe, maybe he'd listen to you."

The words are spoken so fast San can barely even register them, and he hears Mingi sigh again before the boy adds in, "I tried contacting Gemini first but he didn't pick up, just, pleaseㅡ"

"Okay," he mumbles, cutting Mingi off, and usually he'd feel bad about doing so but this isn't the right time for rambling. And maybe his tone wavers a little as he takes a shaky breath, before repeating himself, this time a tiny bit slower and surer in hopes of calming Mingi down, "okay. I'll be there as fast as I can."

(And maybe later he won't have any excuse ready for literally running out of a lecture, but some things are more important than the others, so he doesn't really care about that.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooh what happened to sag?? 👀👀
> 
> anyway i have.. no idea what to say first tbh  
>  so. i decided to make this fic chaptered bc!! it fits better that way!! idk how fast i'll be able to update it but!! i'll try my best!!
> 
> and. this is exactly what i meant by the Possible OT3. san, yeosang and wooyoung. ig we'll see how much ya'll like the trio and. if ppl don't like it i might just make the endgame a duo instead :// shiT was that a spoiler??
> 
> anyway. @ anyone confused: mingi and yunho are in a queerplatonic relationship here cause i thought it would fit this fic the best!! and i didn't plan on making San ace, but.... ig it just kinda Happened on the way lmao
> 
> okey i'm getting off track rn so. please leave some feedback if u liked this!! and, my tumblr is @ starryhwa if u wanna hmu ♡


	2. 내 가슴이 뛰고 있다

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Come on," the younger murmurs, his voice the slightest bit shaky, "Sagittarius is in the conference room."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i'm finally updating this !! it took me,, much longer than i thought it would tbh fkshkfhd that's why i'm better at writing one shots i guess,,
> 
> anyway, this is unbeta'd, (and shorter than i was hoping it would be fkhsjd) so there might be some typos, but i hope u'll still enjoy it!!  
>  as much as one can enjoy angst ig

It's Jongho's alarmed face that greets him first when he finally steps into their base.

On his way there, he didn't really have any way of changing into his suit ㅡ the fact of him being in a rush paired with the simple inconvenience of having to look for a place to do so without any civilians witnessing him in the meantime seemed like too much of a hassle. So, he only hooked the mask over his ears hastily, tugging it even higher up his face than he usually does, and mentally thanked his past self for throwing on a hoodie today before pulling the hood over his head, keeping it in place with careful fingers.

It's raining, and the fact alone is almost stupidly ironic, because his heartbeat is thudding in his ears, his fringe wet from the weather and sticking to his forehead, and he can barely catch his breath as he finally stumbles inside.

He's _this_ close to having a closer encounter with the floor, but fortunately Jongho's there, clad in his Libra suit, and his arms circle San's chest securely, holding him up as he tries to catch his footing again.

"Godㅡ" the younger huffs out, and San notices the way Jongho's eyes scan his entire posture hastily before speaking up again, "gotta be honest, I was kinda worried you'd get hurt on your way here."

"But I'm all okay, see?" he replies, cracking a smile. He has to admit, he feels a tiny bit touched that the younger was concerned about him ㅡ and didn't even hesitate before admitting it. He gestures at himself, waving his hand vaguely, "just peachy."

He can see Jongho's eyes following the movement before his gaze drops to the floor.

"Good, because I can think of someone that isn't."

The words remind San about the reason why, exactly, he just ditched his classes to come here ㅡ and he can feel his heart stutter in his chest anxiously.

Thankfully, he doesn't have to say anything, because before he knows it, Jongho's fingers find the sleeve of his hoodie and tug lightly.

"Come on," the younger murmurs, his voice the slightest bit shaky, "Sagittarius is in the conference room."

San lets himself be pulled through the hall, Jongho's grip on his wrist tightening when he speaks up, "why there, though? Why not in the infirmary area?"

The other doesn't reply immediately, which only spurs on San's anxiety, and he wishes he could see Jongho's face right now, to at least be able to somewhat tell what the younger is thinking through his expression alone.

Their footsteps echo through the hall ㅡ the eerie silence of their base seems almost ironic, considering the situation.

"He..." the boy starts, but his back stiffens and he trails off before trying again, "I don't know. He justㅡ he insisted on staying in there, and wouldn't let us move him anywhere else. Wouldn't let us get closer in the first place, even."

San tilts his head to the side, confused ㅡ what did the younger mean by that? How would Sagittarius keep them at a distance? Was he threatening them if they dared to step closer, or was he begging them to leave him alone? No matter how hard San tried, he just couldn't imagine the Super doing neither.

It just seemed so... unlike him.

But then, the whole situation, Sagittarius' sudden behaviourㅡ it all didn't seem like his usual self, either.

He doesn't even notice as they both fall silent, too lost in his own thoughts to realize the younger has stopped in front of him and he almost collides straight into the boy, if not for the careful hand that lands on his chest and holds him back firmly.

Startled, he glances to the side, his eyes meeting Mingi's concerned gaze.

The Super's eyebrows are furrowed and his face set straight, and even though he's wearing the mask, San thinks he recognizes the way his jaw tightens under the cloth. Like this, the boy looks so deadly serious, it almost takes San aback for a moment.

Because despite it all, he's gotten so used to their superhero lifestyle, he pretty much forgot how terryfing it actually can be.

It feels like a slap to the face ㅡ because after all, they're both young. Barely even adults, and yet this is the kind of thing they do on a daily basis. Something that most of the people he passes on the streets can only imagine, something that sounds amazing until suddenly, it all goes to shit.

"Hey, roommate," he murmurs in the form of a greeting, hoping to ease the tension, and Mingi's face lights up, if only by a bit ㅡ he still counts it as a win.

"Hongjoong's been sitting inside Yunho's room for a whole hour now," San perks up at the information, nodding at the boy to go on. Mingi's hand reaches out to scratch at the back of his neck, and there's an emotion in his gaze that San can't quite put his finger on, "he... didn't take this well. He tried to get closer to Sagittarius but he pushed him away andㅡ just, I think if you want this to work, you should probably keep your distance."

He nods, thankful for the advice, even though his heart shrinks at the mental image of Hongjoong curled up in Yunho's room, blaming himself for whatever happened to Sagittarius ㅡ it's something that San noticed him do quite a lot lately. Blaming himself. Even when the situation was out of his control, just like right now.

But that's yet another problem added to the list, and at the moment, San has to focus on not fucking this up.

So he nods again, staring at the closed door, and he briefly notes Mingi patting his shoulder as Jongho moves to the side, gesturing vaguely at the handle for San to take the hint.

Taking a deep breath, he opens the door and walks in.

He doesn't bother closing it behind himself, but at the back of his mind, he registers the quiet _click_ ㅡ probably due to either Mingi or Jongho figuring it's better to give them privacy.

But all his attention is already focused on something elseㅡ _someone_ else.

He can see the outline of Sagittarius' figure in the dimly lit room, curled in on himself in the corner of the room, far from the conference table, maybe even as if trying to hide.

Squinting, San thinks the Super seems to be clutching one of his hands to his chest, and it's only when he takes a couple steps closer that he notices the unmistakable red stains on the torn fabric of the glove, which makes him stop in his tracks.

A second passes, the room almost irritatingly quiet, and the silence is ringing in his ears as he fidgets in place.

The worst thing is, the other doesn't even seem to notice his presence; either that or he's just keen on ignoring him.

But, when he thinks about it now, it's better than what he first imagined his reaction would be, so he'd take this over panic or downright aggression.

Unsure what to do, he licks his lips as he shifts his weight from one leg to another, before opening his mouth and stuttering out, "hㅡ hey, Sagittarius?"

Once again, he's met with silence, which only spurs on his worry, and it takes him a few more seconds before he notices it ㅡ but when he pays enough attention, he sees the way the Super's shoulders seem to be trembling, his hand twisted into the fabric of his jacket.

Taking a cautious step closer, he tries again.

"Sagittarius? Can you... can you hear me?" he calls out, not wasting his time as he adds, "are you okay?"

A minute passes without any sign of the other acknowledging him, before finally, _finally_ , the boy speaks up.

Except, San's relief is short lived, because Sagittarius' voice is hoarse, in a way that seems impossible without a prior yelling fit, in a way the voice breaks after hours of crying ㅡ and, to top that off, it cracks in the middle of the sentence, Sagittarius not even meeting his eye, his hat pulled low and casting a shadow over his face.

" _Please don't touch me_."

It's only four words, barely even a whole sentence, but it sounds so hopeless, so _desperate_ , it leaves San's chest feeling numb.

"Iㅡ of course, of course I won't, if youㅡ if you don't want me to," he rushes to say, stumbling on his own words in his haste, "I, no, we. We just want to know if you're okay."

At that, even in the darkness of the room, he can clearly see Sagittarius' throat tighten. He may not see the Super's face, but he already kind of expects it when he hears a sob, high-pitched and dejected, ripped out of his throat; it still doesn't fail to startle him, though.

" _Shit_."

He doesn't stop the curse from slipping, too busy darting over. His legs are already moving before he knows it, but he halts to a stop barely a step away from the other, remembering his previous plea.

Uncertain what to do, he shoots a glance around the room, as if looking for any clue on how to behave in such a situation, before his gaze falls back to Sagittarius, who's still yet to move from his spot in the corner.

"Hey, it's okay, you're okay," he murmurs, careful to keep his voice even, acting calm even though he's anything but, in hopes of soothing the Super's nerves, "you're safe here. It's okay."

There's an abrupt nod, and a sharp intake of breath, before the other finally moves ㅡ only by bit, but he reaches out the hand he's not currently clutching to his chest, and San's too confused to try and guess what he means. So, he only takes a careful step forward, crouching down and offering his own hand.

He doesn't even notice how he's holding his own breath until he sighs in relief, as the other's fingers brush his own before cautiously interlocking them, grasping at San's palm as if it was the only thing that could keep him sane at the moment.

Slowly, San lets his thumb brush a reassuring circle against the Super's glove.

"Okay," he mumbles. Okay, this is good. Good enough, at least, as not even that long ago the Super was begging him not to touch him, but now _he_ was the one to initiate contact ㅡ that's much better than whatever San was hoping for, "okay, I'm here. You're safe. It's okay," he stops for a second to let the words sink in, before he parts his lips again, "could youㅡ would you show me your hand? I only want to check if you're okay, if that's okay with you."

The Super doesn't reply verbally, but then San feels a light squeeze on his hand and he guesses that must be his agreement, because his grip on the jacket loosens the slightest bit, even if there's still tension visible in his shoulders.

"Cool," San says before he even has the time to think, because he always seems to ramble when he's nervous, but Sagittarius doesn't seem to mind, "okay, I'm gonnaㅡ I'm gonna touch your hand now, would it be okay for me to take off the glove? Just, please tell me if you want me to stop, okay?"

Glancing into the Super's eyes, he realizes this is the first time since he came in that Sagittarius actually meets his gaze, and he doesn't dare move until the other finally mumbles a faint, "okay."

Satisfied with the answer, he gently lets go of the Super's grasp, focusing on the possibly wounded hand. Carefully, he pulls at the sleeve of his jacket to get Sagittarius to release the fabric completely, splaying his fingers over the boy's wrist when he complies.

Carefully, he tugs at the glove, stopping in his tracks when he hears Sagittarius hiss under his breath, but then the Super's nodding at him to show it's okay. This time, when he pulls the fabric up, he's even more careful than before ㅡ or, as careful as one can be when some of it sticks to the boy's skin, both due to his dried blood mixed with sweat, and it's pretty much impossible for him to do it without causing the Super any additional pain.

"Sorry," he murmurs when the boy sucks in a breath again, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but look, it's almost done."

Sighing in relief, he lightly pulls the cloth off the last finger, and only then does he let himself _really_ look at Sagittarius' hand.

He can feel his lips twisting as he stares at the damaged skin, deep, red lines and cuts trailing up from his wrists to the palm. The tips of his fingers are covered in dried blood, the stink of it reaching San's nose and he almost wants to close his eyes so that he doesn't have to look at it any more. But, he wants to help the boy, so he only clears his throat before continuing.

He didn't notice it at first, but the other's nails seem chipped at the edges, cracked from, what, struggling against something? Dragging them over skin? That would somewhat explain the scratches on his wrists, but then, that doesn't make sense ㅡ why would he injure his own self? So, San shoots down the idea, even if it still remains at the back of his mind.

"Okay, that's. That's not that bad," clearing his throat, he knows he doesn't sound convincing, but he keeps trying, anyway, "would youㅡ would you let me take you to Mㅡ to Leo? He only wants to help, just like me, your hands are going to be okay again before you even know it."

He can clearly see the way the Super seems to contemplate it, visibly torn between wanting to be healed and scared ofㅡ something, whatever it is, San has no idea.

Finally, _finally_ , the boy nods and San scrambles to stand up, helping the other do the same. As Sagittarius stumbles, San's quick to throw his arm over the boy's shoulder to steady him, and doesn't pull away because he sees that the Super doesn't trust his own self to keep himself up.

"Leo's just outside the door, so we don't have to walk too farㅡ unless you want me to come get him, that is."

Watching as Sagittarius shakes his head at the offer, he hums before taking a step ahead, waiting for the boy to follow. Their pace is slow, as San's too worried about the other Super to rush him in any way, so it propably takes them more time than necessary to get to the door, but he doesn't really care about that.

Reaching his hand out, he pushes open the door, and immediately an alerted huff reaches their ears from the hall.

It's San who walks out first, Sagittarius trailing right after him, and San can see the way Leo's eyes widen when he notices Sagittarius, from where he's leaning against the wall. Quickly pushing himself forward, Mingi stumbles closer, hurriedly looking the boy over.

It's reassuring, the fact that Sagittarius doesn't seem to react in any alarming way, only shrinking down a bit, as if Leo's worried gaze was overwhelming him. At least he didn't flinch away.

Turning his head to face Sagittarius, he waits until the Super meets his gaze before saying, "I'll have to go, now. Is that okay? Do you mind staying with Leo?"

He can see the hesitation in the boy's eyes, but then Sagittarius nods, so lightly it's barely even visible, but it's enough for San to smile at the other reassuringly, hoping the other notices it despite the mask, before he pulls his arm back.

Taking a step to the side, he meets Mingi's eye, and the boy nods at him as if to say _I've got this_.

It's enough for San to turn around and start walking in the direction of Yunho's room, because he trusts Mingi; knows Sagittarius is in good hands, now.

➳

It's not long until he gets there, as Yunho's room is fairly close to the conference room, _Thank God_.

Knocking his knuckles against the door gently, he calls out, "Hongjoong? Are you there?"

He doesn't bother with the aliases, not right now. He knows there's no one else around, and even if they were, they'd probably be too busy worrying about Sagittarius to even hear what's happening around them.

At first, he doesn't get a reply, but then he's pretty sure he can hear a low _thump_ before quiet footsteps follow, and then the door's opening in front of him, Hongjoong's face peeking out from behind it, his eyebrows pulled together before his expressions smoothes out at the sight of San.

"San? What are you doing here?" he murmurs, his voice hushed, but San still notices the light tremor to his words.

Shrugging, he reaches his hand up and tugs his mask down, deciding it would only bother him in the middle of their conversation. Then, he lets himself crack a smile, watching as Hongjoong blinks back at him before pulling down his own mask as well.

"I heard you were blaming yourself again, so I came to check up on you," he explains, and Hongjoong's lips twist almost immediately, averting his eyes as he opens the door wider.

"I, uh," the older stutters as San steps in, closing the door carefully. They don't bother moving away from the door, so San only takes it as a sign to lean against the wall, before sliding down into a sitting position.

Hongjoong doesn't waste his time joining him, sitting by his side, away from the doors, even though he still doesn't meet San's gaze.

"Listen," begins the younger, when he sees Hongjoong's reluctance to say anything, "I know we... haven't been close for a long time, really, only actually got to know each other after you started dating Seonghwa, butㅡ I'm your friend, now, I really respect you, and I want to be here for you, if you're not feeling well."

He sees more than hears Hongjoong clearing his throat awkwardly, his fingers fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket ㅡ it feels almost weird, to be able to see his face, while he's clad in his Scorpio suit.

Worrying at his lips, he tries again, "okay, I know I'm not Seonghwa, but Iㅡ"

He doesn't get to finish, though, because Hongjoong's head snaps up, his eyes widening in panic as he scrambles to say, "no, _no_ , that's not it, I justㅡ"

The older trails off, his gaze falling down to the floor again, and he juts his lower lip out before continuing, "I just, I don't know... all of you seem to trust me as your leader and all, but. I don't, uh," his eyebrows furrow, and San waits for him to go on, "you... you've seen Sagittarius, right? I shouldn't have. Shouldn't have let this happen, I should've prevented this."

Hearing Hongjoong's words only confirms his suspicions, as much as he hates it. Reaching his hand out, he lets it rest on the older's shoulder, waiting until he meets his eye again, before he speaks up, "Hongjoong, listen to me. It wasn't your fault. There wasㅡ literally no way for you to know this would happen. Really, we still don't even know what, actually, happened."

He sees the corner of Hongjoong's mouth tilting down at that, and he's about to look away again but San squeezes his shoulder before he even gets to do so, grabbing his attention again.

"Don'tㅡ no, Joong, think about it for a second. The only way for you to really prevent it, would be if Yunho saw it happening in any of his visionsㅡ which, he _didn't_. It's not your fault this happened. Neither was it your fault when I got shot," Hongjoong's eyes widen at that, his lips parting to say something again, but San's already cutting him off, "yes, I noticed that. You blame yourself too much, Joong. Yes, you're the leader, and a great one at that, but you have to realize, not every bad thing that happens is actually your fault. Scratch that, most of them aren't, really."

Something about his sentence must hit the spot, because Hongjoong's eyes soften and he nods, giving up his fight. _Finally_ , he's actually listening to San.

"Seonghwa trusts you, I trust you. We _all_ do, do you really think we would if you weren't a good leader?"

The boy nibbles on his lip, slowly shaking his head. There's something sad, maybe even hopeless, in the way his shoulders slump before he admits, "I just... I never thought I deserve itㅡ your trust, I mean."

The words feel like a slap to the face, and a sigh slips past San's lips before he huffs out, "oh, Hongjoong..."

Carefully, he shifts a tiny bit closer, throwing his arms around the older, guiding Hongjoong's head to rest on his chest.

"I hope," he whispers, his cheek pressed into the top of the boy's head, "one day, you're gonna realize how amazing you truly are."

Hongjoong only hums in response, but it's enough.

San doesn't know how long they stay like this, but when he leaves the building later, all the other members are already gone.

➳

After he leaves their base, he doesn't really feel like going back to their dorm and facing Mingi just yet.

That's why, on his way back to the campus, he lets his eyes wander around the streets, until they lock on a single plushie shown on some shop's display. It's a bit bigger than his favorite one, but it's a matching Shiba Inu one, and when San squints at it, he can't help but think of it as perfectly sized for his giant roommate.

He doesn't even realize what he's doing until he's already stepping out of the shop, plushie in hand and probably a week of no actual, healthy food awaiting him.

But that's okay. He's used to this. He wastes his money on new makeup he doesn't even need all the time, so he thinks he'll manage.

Taking a deep breath, he holds it in for a second, staring up at the cloudless sky. It's already dark enough, he can see the stars above, even if only a few. After all, they live in a city now, the pollution is too high for him to be able to see the starry sky as clear as he could at his hometown.

At times like this one, he lets himself admit it ㅡ he kind of misses it.

Even with the knowledge that everyone knows everyone, and they're all in other people's businesses, it was a lot calmer than where he lives now, not even mentioning the whole superhero thing.

But when he really thinks about it, he's kind of glad he left. Or rather, him presenting as a Super was the reason they had to take him to the facility.

Because, San wasn't made to live this way. As nice as it was, it was also monotonous, and with every passing day, he felt more and more like a bird caught in a cage.

At least right now, he feels free.

Even if the cost was his safety.

Slowly exhaling, he finally pushes himself forward, leaving the shop behind. On his way to the dorms, he has to pass by the café, and through the windows, he thinks he sees Yeosang leaning against the counter, a washcloth in his hand.

It makes his chest tingle, in a way he doesn't dare think about, but he only smiles softly before continuing on. He doesn't have the time to visit, he has to check up on Mingi, now.

When he finally gets to their dorm, it's with a few grumbled curses, because he's never really thought about how hard would it be to open the front door with a plushie half his size held in his arms and muscles still burning from his spontaneous trip to the base earlier that day.

Struggling with the keys, he lets out a satisfied hum when he finally succeeds, a second away from pumping his fist into the air before he remembers the plushie still in his hands.

Carefully, he steps inside, resting the plushie on the floor while he toes off his shoes. Just as he's about to put them away, he notices Mingi's own pair, thrown carelessly to the side ㅡ the sight makes something inside San's chest twist almost painfully.

As much of a daydreamer the younger is, he's not the one to be messy, which means he's either been too lost in thoughts to remember his shoes, or just too emotional at the moment to care about them. But, San would like to think of himself as a good roommate. So, he does what a good roommate would do, and carefully tucks both his and Mingi's shoes in their designated space.

Okay, the good rommate part ㅡ maybe, just maybe, actually, that might not be it. He might be just worried for Mingi. But for some reason, it feels too embarrassing to admit.

"Mingi?" he calls out, picking up the plushie again, but otherwise from an inaudible groan from their shared room, there's no actual response.

Slowly, he makes his way to where the sound came from, poking his head inside the room, just to see Mingi lying face down on his bed, blanket and limbs such a mess he can't even tell which is which ㅡ and usually, he'd smile at the sight, but right now, he knows that the younger is far from a peaceful sleep, so he only nibbles at his lip before murmuring, "Mingi? I know you're worried, but... worrying won't change anything."

The other boy stays silent, and if San didn't know him better, he'd think Mingi isn't even listening. But he knows. He knows that he is.

So, he only shakes the plushie in his hand, adding a, "besides, I brought you something. I hope you'll like it."

Only then does the younger lift his head, eyes blinking blearily as he meets San's gaze, before locking onto the said gift. For a second, the boy doesn't even react, but then he pulls himself up, a pout on his lips as he makes grabby hands for the plushie.

San huffs out a chuckle, padding closer and it's almost comically ridiculous how fast Mingi tugs the plushie away from his hands, carefully cradling it to his chest, as if it was the most precious thing he's ever laid his eyes on. The fact makes San feel a little bit better about today's crazy events.

"Thanks," mumbles the boy, resting his cheek on top of the plushie ㅡ the action makes his lips look puffier than they usually do. He kind of looks like a giant kid, San thinks.

But then, his eyes darken a bit, and it's clear how exhausted he feels, just by his expression alone, "I, uh, I can't fall asleep. Can you... help?"

San can't hold himself back from cracking a smile at the younger, "of course. Do you wanna cuddle, too?"

And the boy only nods at that. So, San doesn't waste his time changing into his sleepwear, doesn't even bother washing off his makeup, before he climbs into the boy's bed, throwing his hands around the shiba plushie in hopes of reaching Mingi's head. Fortunately, he succeeds, and he hums as he runs his fingers through Mingi's hair in a calming manner, not quite using his power just yet.

"If you're so worried, we can talk about it tomorrow," he says, watching as the younger nods sleepily again. This time, as he spreads his fingers on the skin of Mingi's neck, the boy's eyes flutter closed before quickly drifting off.

Sometimes, just sometimes, San wishes he could use his power on his own self, too.

➳

When he wakes up, it's to a muffled humming coming from the kitchen and an already empty bed. Or, not exactly empty. The plushie is still there.

Pulling it closer, he buries his face into the soft fabric with a sigh. He can't believe how convenient it is, that neither of them have any lectures today. It's weekend, thank God, because he's not sure whether either of them would be able to get through their classes after what happened yesterday.

Slowly, he pushes himself up, mourning the loss of warmth for a second, before stretching his neck. Too sleepy to really think about what to wear, he grabs the closest thing and throws it on ㅡ it's Mingi's hoodie, which means he literally drowns in it, the sleeves easily sliding down his entire arm and hanging from the tips of his fingers.

But it's comfortable, and it smells nice, so he doesn't really mind.

The trip to the kitchen doesn't take long, and soon he's already peeking inside, watching as Mingi pours cereal into a bowl before adding milk straight out of the carton, "good morning."

The younger perks up at that, glancing back and he sends a smile at San, even though it doesn't fully reach his eyes, "morning."

"You left the plushie with me?" he murmurs before he can even think about how silly it sounds, but he guesses Mingi's already used this, so he only waddles closer to make himself coffee.

"Yeah," the younger mumbles back, retrieving back to look for a spoon, "I didn't wanna have neither of you feeling lonely."

"That's. Oh my God that's adorable."

But Mingi only waves his hand dismissively, even though San's pretty sure he can see a trace of a bashful blush on his cheeks.

"Anyway, San, you said we could talk... today," he murmurs, swiftly changing the topic, and _oh_.

So that's why the boy seemed kind of tense the entire time.

Waiting for the water to boil, he steals a look at the younger, who's already taken a seat by the table, mixing his cereal with the smallest spoon they have ㅡ which, San will honestly never understand, as he himself prefers using big spoons to eat cereal. The smaller ones are just inconvenient ㅡ and he mulls over the words, before carefully replying, "yeah... you're still worried, right?"

Mingi juts out his lower lip at the words, choosing to munch on his food before replying. There's a moment of silence, which only the sound of the kettle breaks, and San scrambles to pour the now scalding water into his cup.

Sure, he might not like coffee, but sometimes, it's the onlt thing that manages to wake him up enough to go through the day.

"I... I don't know, San, it's just thatㅡ" the boy trails off, an emotion that San doesn't really recognize flicking through his face, but it's gone as soon as it appeared.

Confused, San only frowns at him, before grasping his drink and taking a seat on the other side of the table. He forgets about his coffee almost immediately, though, too preoccupied with trying to figure Mingi out, "I mean, Sagittarius is okay now, right? You already healed him, so it's not like anyone's in immediate danger right nowㅡ I know it's been a lot, for one day, but. I don't think we still have to worry."

At that, Mingi's gaze flickers down to the table, his grip on the spoon tightening visibly. It almost looks as if he's about to break it in half.

"San, you... you didn't see his neck. It wasㅡ" he interrupts himself, worrying at his lip as he lowers his hand, letting the spoon fall back into his cereal, "so... bruised. It looked as if someone was trying to strangle him."

San doesn't know how to reply to something like this, for once in his life finding himself speechless ㅡ so, he doesn't.

Instead, he just reaches out his hand to pat Mingi's shoulder reassuringly, and for the rest of the breakfast, they stay quiet.

➳

The next time he sees Wooyoung, it's outside of class.

To say he was expecting to run into the younger boy while on a quick grocery trip at seven in the afternoon would be a lie.

To say he was expecting to meet Wooyoung outside of class, ever, in his entire life, would also be a lie.

Honestly, at this point, some part of his brain must've just deemed Wooyoung as some kind of pigment of his imagination, only appearing at his dance classes and otherwise non-existent. Or maybe he unwillingly started to adress Wooyoung as a local college cryptid. But is it really his fault, when he's never even seen his dance partner slash puppy crush in any other setting?

While no, he doesn't think so, him finding himself in an awkward situation like this one, must've definitely been his fault.

Because here he was, minding his own business, trying to find anything to eat that he has enough money to buy, when it happened.

Glaring at the offending, stupidly high prices, he strolls through the aisle. He sees some sweets, but he's technically on a diet, so he quickly averts his gaze from them; there are a few cartons of milk, but then, they still have some back at their dorm, so it's not like he needs to buy any more; a pack of chips, but again, he's too broke to even consider taking them; oh, a whole box of ice cream, San wouldn't really mind eating ice cream for the next two days ㅡ but, Mingi doesn't like this flavour, so again, he has to dismiss the option.

But then, his eyes land on instant noodles, and he freezes.

There's a _lot_ of them. And compared to everything else at the store, they're almost ridiculously cheap.

So, San does the only sensible thing that comes to mind, and immediately grabs a load, struggling to keep them all in his arms.

_Shit_ , she should have brought a cart.

Then, he hears a shuffle to his side. Slowly, he turns his head to the direction of the sound, his eyes widening as he meets someone's gaze ㅡ and his heart jumps up to his throat when he realizes it's actually Wooyoung.

The boy looks as casual as possible, a checked flannel thrown over a simple, blank shirt. His hair is dishevelled, as if he didn't even bother combing through it that day, and there are earphones stuffed into his ears, which he slowly pulls out after a second of tense eye contact.

"Well, hello there," says the boy, carelessly throwing the earphones to hang around his neck, and if San didn't know any better, he'd think the younger looks shy.

But Wooyoung's never shy. He's one of the most outgoing people San knows ㅡ even more outgoing that San himself. But Wooyoung's eyes seem to flicker away before again meeting his, his hands burying in the pockets of his jeans, and it all suddenly hits him, how at the moment, the boy reminds him of Yeosang.

Maybe, the two really aren't as different as he first thought, after all.

"Hey," he calls out in greeting, fumbling with one of the bags that almost slips from his grasp. It immediately catches Wooyoung's attention, as his eyes peek at the said pack of noodles, one of his eyebrows raising amusedly.

San doesn't even bother to hide how flustered he feels at the moment, meekly adding a, "uh, I know we only met by accident, but could you, please, help me with _this_?"

Nodding his chin at the instant noodles in his arms, he glances at Wooyoung with a sheepish smile.

And Wooyoung, the angel in disguise, only chuckles before nodding. Taking a few steps closer, the boy tugs gently at the few packs that seem dangerously close to flying away in search of some weird, noodle shaped life meaning, and San can only grin graciously in thanks.

It's San that first takes a step forward, but Wooyoung soon follows, and there's a moment of silence before the younger speaks up again, "so... why, uh, this?"

Stealing a look at the other boy, he shrugs, "I just don't feel like starving in the nearest future," he murmurs, waiting for Wooyoung to hum in understanding before adding, "also, I'm broke."

That rips a laugh out of the boy's throat, and San panics for a second the boy's going to drop the noodles, but fortunately the other manages to hold himself upwards as his shoulders shake uncontrollably, "oh yeah, same."

Then, San's reminded why they met in the first place, and his head snaps to the side, so he can actually _look_ at Wooyoung.

"Wait, don't you wanna buy anything, too?"

The younger stops in his tracks. His lower lip juts out as he thinks, and San has to admit, it's kind of cute.

"You know what, no, I don't really need anything," the boy finally says, elaborating when he sees San's confused expression, "I just... I just needed to think, that's all."

The admission throws San off for a moment, and he finds himself blinking wordlessly back at the other, lips parted but no sound coming out. It's just that, for as long as they've been casually chatting at their dance classes, Wooyoung's never actually opened up about any deeper topics. Scratch that, neither of them did.

"Are you okay?" he mumbles in the end, as they return to their unhurried pace, even as Wooyoung doesn't meet his eye.

"Yeah," he hears the boy murmur back. It sounds slightly muffled, as he buries his head into the instant noodles, as if trying to hide, "just. I don't know, I don't trust myself to be alone right now. I've been having... weird thoughts."

"Weird thoughts?"

Wooyoung lifts his head again, meeting San's concerned gaze ㅡ once again, San wishes he was better at reading people, because as much as he tries, he can't recognize the emotions currently reflecting in the younger's eyes.

"Yeah, just that. Weird. They're... kind of unpleasant, you know? The intrusive kind," he admits, and he takes a deep breath before continuing, "they don't even feel like... my own."

"You can stay with me, then."

It takes him a moment to realize what he's just said, and seemingly, Wooyoung as well, because then they stare at each other, both looking like deer caught in headlights.

His cheeks start to burn as he scrambles to explain, "it's justㅡ you said you don't want to be alone, right? We can just, hang out, until you feel better!"

Fortunately, Wooyoung only cracks a smile at that, before replying, "okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoooo boy
> 
> i know there wasnt a lot of yeosang this chapter and i'm sowwy for that gdshgjsk
> 
> \+ here i was, thinking this fic was only gonna have like, two or three chapters - and yet, this chapter still didn't even reach the part that was supposed to be the ending of........ chapter ONE FKJDKFJSKDJ
> 
> in other words, i'm a mess. but?? as always, please, leave some feedback if u liked this!! ♡
> 
> if u wanna hmu, my tumblr is @ starryhwa ♡


	3. 처음 느낀 이 감정이

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i have to be honest, i'm not too proud of this chapter. but i know that if i tried to rewrite it, i would only be even less satisfied with it, _and_ you'd have to wait even longer for an update, so! i hope you'll like this anyway!
> 
> trigger warning?  
>  choking, a panic attack almost happens (not san, tho, so it's not very explicitly described, at least i think so)

After he's done paying, they leave the grocery shop with the noodles stuffed messily into the few reusable bags the cashier handed them with a pointed look, and the straps dig into his arms uncomfortably. San doesn't even realize just how many packs of the noodles he bought until he feels how ridiculously heavy the bags are. They're _instant noodles_ , for fuck's sake, it shouldn't weight him down as much as it does.

Admittedly, San would consider that maybe, just maybe he's getting out of shape ㅡ if he wasn't a dance major, that is. Half of his classes are practical, so it wouldn't make sense. Right?

And Wooyoung's face matches his own pained expression, so it must just be the noodles. Hopefully.

At least the way back to his dorm doesn't take much time, especially when he takes a turn into the park, cutting down their walk by at least five minutes, until he's already rapping his knuckles against the wooden door of their dorm and there's a moment of silence before it clicks open.

Mingi peeks his head out, looking San up and down with a curious glint in his eyes before he notices the boy standing just a few steps away.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out what, exactly, goes through Mingi's mind at that, and he swiftly ignores the amused glance the younger shoots him, instead sticking his leg out and pushing the door open.

"Hello to you too," he can hear Mingi call out after him, but he's already stormed inside, more than ready to dump all the instant noodles where they belong. He knows Wooyoung doesn't immediately follow him, though, just by Mingi's offhand comment, "hey, have we met before?"

And it's not that San's trying to snoop in on their conversation, honestly, it would be kind of impossible for him not to hear it, when the only other thing filling the silence in their dorms is the sound of him shuffling around as he stuffs the packets into the only empty shelf ㅡ that he's always had trouble reaching, by the way, ugh, he could've used Mingi's help right now.

"I don't think so?" comes Wooyoung's voice, but San can hear the confused edge to it, as if he wasn't exactly sure of it, either, "in any case, I'm Wooyoung."

And San doesn't even have to imagine Mingi's smile at that, because he can literally hear it in his reply, "I'm Mingi! Probably also the only reason San's still alive at this point."

It's clearly a joke, but at the same time, it kind of isn't, when you consider their secret identities. But Wooyoung doesn't know that, so really, in the end it just adds another layer of an inside joke, and San can't stop himself from shouting, "oh, shut up! I'm not that bad!"

It's also just his luck that when he thinks he's finally done, one of the packets slips away and falls to the ground with a hollow _thunk_.

"Are you sure about that?"

Frowning, he stuffs it back into place before making his way back to the entrance, where he's immediately met with both Mingi and Wooyoung's laughter. It's so loud, almost hysteric, he panics for a second about someone scolding them for disturbing the (non-existent, really) peace of the dorms, and slams the door closed as quietly as he can, in hopes of somewhat muffling the sound, at least.

"So," he starts, but trails off as two sets of eyes lock onto him, and suddenly he doesn't even know what he was even going to say, "I, uhㅡ what do you want to do, Wooyoung? I didn't really have a plan when I offered you to come with meㅡ wait, do you wanna hang out with us, too, Mingi?"

There's a thoughtful hum from Mingi as Wooyoung speaks up first, "well, maybe we could just watch something? I don't know, I don't really do this often."

San squints at him, "you mean... hang out with friends?"

At Wooyoung's noncommittal shrug, he can only gape, "butㅡ you're like, the _most_ popular and extroverted person I know?"

"I could say the same about you."

Before he has any time to reply, a strangled _what_ already at the tip of his tongue, Wooyoung cuts him off, "and do _you_ do this often?"

And here's the thing, he'd very much like to say yes. He'd much rather say that than any other possible reply to such a question, but then he remembers how pretty much all of his free time he spends jumping around with a mask on and pretending he knows what he's doing as the ever confident Cancer. Except he's far from that, actually, and the only human interaction he gets on a daily basis is between his teammates, then Yeosang, at the café, and thenㅡ Wooyoung. In Class.

Not as much human interaction as he'd like to admit.

"No," he mumbles, follows it by a few rushed explanations because, of course, it's just that he has no time for that due to school, nothing else, no. And Wooyoung's already waving his hand at San dismissively, smacking his shoulder accidentally which no one really notices, and Mingi's staring at San with a look that's clearly scolding for how _obvious_ San's currently acting.

So San shuts up.

A beat of silence, and Wooyoung breaks it again, "uh. Back to the point. We could maybe, make something to eat and then marathon something that you like?"

San's okay with that, so he only nods, and then the two turn to Mingi, who blinks back at them before he realizes they're waiting for his input, "yeah, I'm in."

And that's how San finds himself in their kitchen, watching as Wooyoung dumps the instant noodles they bought today into a pot, an alarmed looking Mingi standing by his side, hands hovering in air as if the boiling water was about to explode.

There's some recently popular song playing from Wooyoung's phone carefully laid on the counter ten minutes prior, and San's already tapping his fingers against the table he's sitting on top of, before he even realizes what he's doing. The melody almost muffles out Mingi's uncertain hums whenever Wooyoung does anything he finds questionable, until finally he pushes the younger aside and makes the food by himself.

It's chaotic, if anything, but he has to admit, he's having fun.

➳

It went somewhat like this.

"So what are we watching?"

"How about binging the first two seasons of Buzzfeed Unsolved?"

A huff, "I've never seen that before."

"What the _fuck_ do you mean you haven'tㅡ"

He could only blink back at Wooyoung's confused gaze, eyebrows rised high and lower lip jutted out in a pout. The boy looks puzzled, if anything, in contrary to San's own offended expression, and he can't even finish his sentence due to how lost the younger seems.

"Mingi, we need to show him the world," he throws over his shoulder, too baffled to look away and face his roommate. And the next thing he knows, Mingi's already typing the name of the show into his laptop, clearly as shaken by the new information as San, the three of them squeezed on the couch not unlike a can of tuna, and if it were with anyone else, San would feel uneasy.

But it's Mingi, his sunshine roommate and a fellow member of ATEEZ paired with Wooyoung, the type that screams 'boy next door' aura who's also, coincidentally, San's college crush.

It's almost surprisingly comfortable; the thought of sitting next to his crush alone would usually have San a second away from freaking out, yet the only thing he feels is content.

They haven't even started watching the first episode yet, but the noodles they were supposed to save until the marathon were already gone before either of them noticed, the empty bowls stacked on the nearby table and easily forgotten probably until the upcoming week. The room is warm, or maybe San just gets that impression from having two other people pressed closed to his sides in order for them all to clearly see the screen, but he doesn't mind. He thinks it's actually a pleasing type of warmth. The kind that makes his eyelids feel heavy and his mind sleepy and he thinks, he's so close to falling asleep right now.

Which is kind of funny, considering the fact they barely even started the first episode.

Deciding not to overthink this, he leans further into the couch. For the first time in a while, San actually forgets he's a superhero and drifts off into peaceful slumber.

➳

_(The first person he's met in the facility was Gemini. ___

_From what the others have told him later, he's been the sixth one to present. Compared to them, though, he was let out to walk around the facility freely quite fast, as it only took not even a whole day until they've established what his power was about. So before he fully understood what's happening, a pair of scientist handed him a suit both with his new identity, Cancer._

_Too tired to really try and question them again, the moment he decided to leave the room assigned to him, he's thrown on the suit, fidgeting with the belt and various little details of the suit, poking at the thin chains attached to the mask on his face. He's used to offended stares and sticking out due to his own fashion choices, but as he looked at his own reflection, he couldn't help but feel self-conscious._

_Finally stepping out of his room, he realized, he had no idea where he was even headed. It's only by luck, that he eventually ended up in what seemed like a spacious garden kept in-doors, something that he's never seen before in his hometown, and couldn't help but gape at._

_Fascinated, he marched forward, eyes wandering around and not once staying on a single flower for long, until he noticed a figure at the corner of his vision and turned to properly look at it._

_Then, he froze._

_Because a boy, clad in the same black suit as him, sat on a marble bench. His back facing San, the boy remained unmoving even as he took a few cautious steps closer, and the only thing differing him from a statue was the calm rise and fall of his shoulders as he breathed, as though meditating._

_Careful not to startle the other, he took a seat on the other side of the bench, glancing back at the boy before turning to stare ahead. Counting down from five in his head, his eyes fluttered closed and he let himself listen to the peaceful silence of the garden, lulling him into an almost sleepy state of calm._

_It's only when he's already half asleep, that the boy finally seemed to acknowledge him._

_"You're new," he stated, voice carefully blank. San's eyes flew open and he turned his head to face the other, almost jolting at the watchful gaze he's met with._

_Hesitantly, he nodded._

_"How long have you been here?" the boy questioned, and despite just having met him, San couldn't help but notice how comforting his presence feels._

_San's unusually shy as he replied, "it's only my second day here."_

_But the boy didn't seem to judge him, instead smiling gently under the mask, or at least San assumed so, based on the way his eyes crinkled at the corners, barely noticeable, "what's your power?" he asked further._

_San's eyebrows furrowed, trying to recall the word the scientists called it, "hypnokinesis."_

_A hum, and the boy tilted his head to the side, as if deep in thoughts. Maybe confused by the name, or by the fact that the power existed at all. For all that San knew, he hasn't heard of any famous Super with such a power, and wouldn't be surprised if the other didn't know the way it worked._

_"Sleep manipulation?"_

_There's confusion dripping from his voice, just as San guessed. Quickly, he confirmed it by nodding._

_"If you ever have trouble falling asleep, hit me up," he joked, satisfied by the quiet chuckle it earned him._

_"Cool. Mine's telekinesis."_

_At that moment, San would give anything to see the boy show it off ㅡ in his opinion, levitating things sounds way cooler than making people fall asleep. It was probably more convienent, too. While sure, his own power is pretty nice, probably, he hasn't really had the time to decide yet, it's considerably underwhelming, compared to what the boy just said._

_The only thing that made him feel better is that the other didn't seem as disappointed by his power as San. Quite the opposite, actually ㅡ he looked at him as if they were the only people at the facility, as if the entire garden around them just disappeared. He looked curious, but also so much more than that, and the fact may have made San's heart flip in his chest, for some reason._

_"What's your alias?" he said, breaking the silence. The boy didn't seem to mind._

_"Gemini," came the immediate response. No hesitancy, not missing a beat, clearly already memorized. San wondered for a second just how much longer has the other been here._

_"I'm Cancer."_

_It felt kind of weird to say out loud. Not entirely like a lie, but not like the truth either. Like he wasn't that, Cancer, just yet. But he guessed, he had a lot of time ahead to get used to it.)_

➳

He wakes up to a firm hand gently shaking him awake, the grip on his shoulder the first thing he notices as he slips back into consciousness. His mind is still hazy from sleep as he flutters his eyes open, blinking a few times until his eyes fully focus and he realizes what he's staring at is actually Wooyoung's grinning face.

He hasn't felt so rested, so relaxed in a long time. It's almost refreshing.

"Hi," he hears Wooyoung murmur. His voice is soft, barely above a whisper, and it does some things to San's heart that he doesn't dare think about.

He blinks again, blearily, "hi."

The exchange has Wooyoung giggling, and the boy pulls back a little, enough for San to stretch easily and stifle a yawn. It takes him a few seconds to realize exactly why there's suddenly so much space on the couch, the absence of his roommate confusing.

"Where's Mingi?" he says, this time louder than just a moment ago, and he hears a clutter from the kitchen, as if to answer his question. Wooyoung huffs, clearly amused, as the said boy calls out from the room, _here!_

"He's washing the bowls," comments the boy by his side, "when I asked if he needs help, he just told me to wake you up instead."

Yeah, sounds like Mingi, he thinks. San really should thank him later. Just in general.

"Sounds fair."

Wooyoung nods, "it is."

Running his fingers through his hair, San tries to ignore just how ruffled it must look. Usually, after taking a nap, he'd grumble about having smeared his make up all over his face ㅡ but today he hasn't bothered to put it on in the first place, so he guesses that's one less thing to worry about.

It feels kind of weird, though, as before today, he's only ever met Wooyoung in classes, or even in the hall, though not as frequently. It's almost a domestic scene, having fell asleep cuddled into both Wooyoung and Mingi, but as weird as it is, it's a good kind of weird.

San likes it. He likes Wooyoung.

He really does.

"How was binge watching?" he's genuinely curious. He wants to know if Wooyoung enjoyed it, if he liked the show. He wants to know how many episodes, maybe seasons even, the duo have watched while he slept. He wants to know Wooyoung's favorite mysteries, he wants to know his theories and opinions and he wants to know whatever Wooyoung wants to tell him.

Maybe he is just a tiny bit whipped for the boy.

And as Wooyoung's eyes light up at the question, he knows he's asked the right thing.

"It's _amazing_ ," the boy gushes, before his excitement seems to skyrocket, "seriously, it's so good! They're so funny? Oh my Godㅡ I loved it!"

He leaps closer to San while he says so, and soon his hands grasp onto San's shoulders, and there's a wide grin on his lips as he rants. He's staring at San with stars in his eyes, as if they've just shown him the one, true reason to live for, and there's pink dust on his cheeks, andㅡ he looks so cute when excited.

San could just propose on the spot.

"We haven't watched all of the seasons yet, but you _bet_ I'm gonna finish them on my own free time," the boy rambles, hands gently rocking San forward and back, "seriously, why haven't you mentioned it to me sooner? I can't believe I haven't seen this masterpiece yet? Like, my dude, the true crime seasons are so intriguing, but they also make it so funny, and the supernaturalㅡ seriously, Shane's gonna get possesed at some point, he's literally just asking for itㅡ"

And San simply nods along with a smile.

Because San's always been one talk other people's ears off, everyone who's known him for more than a week knows it. He likes talking, he likes sharing his thoughts, but as he sits there, watching Wooyoung chatter so passionately about it, he can't bring himself to say anything. It's kind of funny, but he'd rather sit back and truly _listen_ instead.

But then Wooyoung trails off, as if he's just realized he's rambling, and the blush on his cheeks deepens as he glances to the side before meeting San's gaze again.

"Ohㅡ I, uh. Am I talking too much?" he mumbles, sudden shy. But San only shakes his head gently.

"No, no. Keep going," he speaks for the first time since Wooyoung's little rant has started. He grins up at the boy, "I like listening to you talk."

Wooyoung dips his head down, staying like this for a few seconds straight, his grip on San's shoulders tightening just a bit. When he looks up, San's pleased to note how the boy's still blushing ㅡ the fact makes a fond warmth spread through his chest.

"Okay."

(It's only two hours later, as he and Mingi stand by the front door, waving at a retreating Wooyoung, that the other brings it up.

He's side eyeing San, lips pursed in a way that make them look even fuller than they already are, and he looks almost as if he'd just witnessed something life changing. Slowly, the boy lets his hand fall to his side; San keeps on waving.

"I didn't know you had a crush," the boy prompts, sounding greatly amused. Surprised, but amused. Of course he is.

"That's not really surprising, is it? You've only met him today," he replies. He doesn't bother looking at Mingi, eyes still locked on Wooyoung's figure, who's already turned away and it's only when he disappears behind a corner of a building, that he finally turns to Mingi.

The younger is looking at him, eyebrows furrowed. Usually, San would laugh at the face Mingi is pulling, but he's too confused at the moment.

"But Geminiㅡ"

He cuts himself off, though, and the amount of questions San wants to ask him multiplies.

"What about Gemini?"

It's the exact moment that Mingi starts avoiding his eyes, tilting his head away from San. Trying to make it look like he's still staring at the spot where Wooyoung's frame disappeared, but San's pretty sure Mingi's just trying to hide his troubled expression from him.

"I thought heㅡ" he starts, but trails off again. Lips falling shut, he glares at the ground, before turning around and taking a step inside their dorm. He looks over his shoulder to make sure that San's following, and after a beat, San follows.

Although he's confused, he doesn't want to pry the answer from Mingi. They trust each other, he doesn't want to break that trust by overstepping their boundaries, so he chooses to stay silent as Mingi closes the door behind them.

That night, as he tries to sleep, he can't help but recall the words. Not even a full sentence, and yet it's enough to keep him up. He's tired, and curious, and he's a second away from either falling asleep or overthinking and the one thing he can't stop wondering about isㅡ why did Mingi bring up Gemini?

Sure, San's kind of liked him since he's met the other. Not to the point of thinking about the other all day, no, just a tiny little spark of interest, or joy. Kind of like a puppy crush, but not quite there yet. A casual crush, the one that you undeniably look up to, that you haven't really though about in romantic terms yet but at the same time, hey, you wouldn't turn them down if they ever asked to kiss you. That's what he's felt towards Gemini all this time, but Mingi surely couldn't have noticed, right? San's good at hiding things like that, especially when they're not a full on bloomed crush. Maybe if they knew each other better, maybe then, but as long as they don't know each other outside the whole superhero thing, he thinks it's gonna stay as a casual crush.

The only person who's noticed, besides Seonghwa, was Hongjoong. And only recently, at that. So why, for the love of God, did Mingi mention _Gemini?_

Just as he's about to drift off to sleep, he hears it.

"What about Gemini's feelings?"

It's said in a hushed tone, San wouldn't even be surprised if Mingi didn't even mean for it to be heard by him. But he did. And he's too close to falling asleep to really understand what Mingi might be implying.

San's going to forget he even heard it by the time he wakes up in the morning, anyway.)

➳

Hand clutching at a cup of bitter, bitter coffee, he tips his head back to take a swing of the drink, holding himself back from scowling at the taste. Shoulders stiff and eyelids heavy, it almost feels as though his mind is struggling to stay awake, while his body's long gone. Somehow, having to wake up early for patrol seems so much easier than waking up early for class.

The fact that apparently, today he has an exam that he conveniently forgot about, doesn't help him by bit.

Heaving a sigh, he places down his trick on the desk before him, wondering how the hell he's going to pass this, with no studying whatsoever. Maybe if he had some other power. One that would be helpful in a situation like this, like mind reading, or something like that, maybe. If anyone thinks he's above cheating on an exam by using a power, they're wrong.

He's so lost in thought he doesn't notice it when a person takes a seat next to him. A painful jab at his ribs, he whips his head to the side just in time to catch Jongho retreating his elbow with an amused rise of eyebrows. The little shit.

"Hey!" he hisses out, careful not to raise his voice and bother any of his classmates. Jongho doesn't even share this class with him, why is he here? How did he even know San would be here?

Did he come to check up on San?

"Right back at you," the boy murmurs, stealing a glance around the room as if checking for any onlookers. Or, on-hearers, in this case. The fact sobers up San enough to feel at least somewhat awake, "but, how are you, dude? Last time I saw you, you were," he drifts off, nibbling at his lips and seemingly carefully choosing his words, "dealing with... him."

Jongho doesn't even drop a name, or alias, for that matter, but San doesn't need to ponder about his words to know what he means.

"Oh, yeah," fingers tapping at the side of the cup, he tries not to remember. He's already managed to ignore the memory of a hunched over Sagittarius, he doesn't want to picture it in his mind again, "I'm okay. Kind of. Could be worse, I guess."

For the record, Jongho seems at least somewhat relieved. As if he'd expected San to still be going through it, to overthink it and worry about their fellow member. Which, honestly, he was right to do. The only reason he let himself forget about it for a hot minute, was probably only because of Wooyoung, and hanging out with Mingi.

But even if he was _distracted_ , that didn't mean he wouldn't recall it later.

"Good. What are you doing, anyway?" the boy changes the topic to a safer one, and San's grateful for that. One, because they're still in a class full of civilians who could overhear their conversation, and two, because he'd rather not think about it right now.

Groaning, he rubs at his temples, "trying to stay awake. I forgot we have a stupid fucking exam today and didn't study for it, God, I'd rather jump out the window than take it."

A chuckle, "what a mood."

"Yeah," he nods, glaring at the coffee cup in front of his face, and he can feel Jongho sending him a funny look, "I'm so gonna fail it."

Jongho huffs out a laugh again, earning himself a few chiding stares from the other students, before turning to San again, "anyway, I gotta go. Good luck with the exam, man."

Not even looking up, he replies, "yeah."

Yeah. He can't believe he's going to fail an exam, just because his stupid Super self got distracted by his Super life. Like, come on. That's such a betrayal. The worst time line possible. The universe is laughing at him and at his misfortune while he's been sold a bottle of water for ten dollars in the gas station of life.

_Dramatic_ , his mind supplies, but he chooses to ignore it in order of throwing a quiet pity party, in the middle of class, alone by his desk and about to fail a test that's going to cost him his entire career.

(He did, actually, passed it. If barely.)

➳

What's a better way to celebrate this, than visit his favorite café with his favorite waiters as friends? Actually, he could think of a few better options, but for some reason, this is what his mind has been set on. He's not sure why, but he feels the need to go there, to meet Hongjoong and catch up, to meetㅡ to meet Yeosang.

Why does he want to meet Yeosang?

It's not like they've known each other for that long, really. Maybe it's just that he finds Yeosang cute. Or maybe it's because he's Hongjoong's co-worker, and almost officially adopted son, by association. Maybe it's because he's a regular at the same coffee shop Yeosang works at. Or maybe, maybe he's just already grown fond of the other boy. Grown attached to him.

San wouldn't be surprised.

He's always been the one to get attached to people too quickly.

Pushing the door open, he steps inside, taking in the familiar, cozy vibe of the café, the familiar tables and seats, the television on the wall, the counter and the duo standing by it. They're clocked in, but so deep in a conversation that they don't seem to notice his entrance, and for a second, he lets himself simply _look_ at them.

Clearly, having to spend time with each other every day must've brought them closer, based on the fact of how comfortable the two now look around the other. There's no sign of stress or anxiety on Yeosang's features, a sight San's already gotten used to, and instead the boy is smiling openly. It's a small smile, his lips barely tilted up at the corners, but it's open, not as shy as before. San wants Yeosang to smile at him as openly as he does at Hongjoong.

It's Hongjoong that does most of the talking. He waves his hands around, gesturing wildly, rolls his eyes exasperatedly to make a point, and whatever story he's sharing, Yeosang must find it amusing, as the boy chuckles. It's loud enough for San to be able to hear it, and the sound does some unexplainable things to his heart.

It's a cute sight, he deems, making his way over to an empty table by the side of the room and waiting for either of them to notice his presence.

It's only two minutes later, as he's scrolling through his feed on Twitter, that the quiet chatter of the coffee shop gets cut by a gasp, followed by hurried footsteps and he looks up from his phone to meet gaze with a smiling Hongjoong.

"Hey, when did you come in? I didn't even notice," the boy greets, waving easily before sinking in the seat across from San. He seems to be in a good mood now, even though one of his eyebrows is still furrowed slightly in an irritated fashion. Bad morning? Annoying customers? Who knows, but if the other seems to be mostly over it, San's not going to bring it up again.

Pocketing his phone, he shakes his head lightly, "just a few minutes ago, don't worry. I didn't want to bother you two," peeking at the spot where the duo just stood, he finds it empty, no Yeosang in sight. Weird.

But then Hongjoong's face lights up, and _yeah_ , he's definitely feeling better now, "oh, right! Yeosang!" he inches closer, resting his hands on the table between them as he hovers over it. San's a bit worried he's going to fall off his seat, "he's opening up! He's warming up to me!"

There's an excited glint in his eyes, his lips stretched into a wide grin and San can't help but share his excitement, "I'm glad," and really, he is. He wants the boy to feel comfortable around them, and that's a good step towards it.

That's when a light _thud_ steals his attention, a heavy cup being placed in front of his face and his eyes trace the hand holding onto it to see the person it belongs to. It's Yeosang, because of course it would be, and the boy doesn't meet his eye, too focused on the drink, San guesses. So he only spares the other a glance before looking down at the cup again, confused. Blinking at the drink, he watches as Yeosang retracts his hand, and only then does he realize the content of the mug.

Gasping, he does a double, "you've brought me hot chocolate?"

The boy nods silently, the corner of his lips quirking up. He remembered? He did, didn't he? It couldn't have been just coincidence, he had to. Suddenly, San's chest feels kind of funny.

"Oh my god, please marry me," he blurts out before he even realizes what he's saying, and it's only when he sees Yeosang's eyes widen, cheeks a rosy pink, that he processes what he's just said. This feels an awful lot like déjà vu. God, he really doesn't have a brain-to-mouth filter, does he?

"Iㅡ I don't think I'm ready for that kind of commitment yet."

Stunned, he hears Hongjoong fall into a fit of laughter, possibly also fall from his seat, San doesn't feel the need to check ㅡ before he joins in, tipping his head to the side as laughter bubbles out of his chest, but why do his cheeks feel so hot all of sudden?

Before either of them calms down, there's a shuffle to his side as Yeosang slips into the seat next to San, pushing the cup closer to him with a pointed look. His ears are dusted red, a look that San thinks suits him in an adorable way, and with the last giggle, he grabs the drink and takes a sip.

It takes Hongjoong a bit longer than him to stop laughing, but when he does, comfortable silence fills the space between them ㅡ as silent as it can be at a café ㅡ and San takes the chance to glance at Yeosang again.

From this close, he can clearly see every detail of the boy's face, his lips, nose, eyes and eyelashes, andㅡ the birthmark under his eye. Oh?

_Got you_ , the thought slips through his mind. That's why he's grown attached to Yeosang seemingly so quickly. In fact, they've known each other way longer than San thought at first.

Because that birthmark, he's seen it before. Gemini.

He notes the information at the back of his mind, and tries to act casual, as if he hasn't just had a huge realization about the other's alter ego.

"You've got a birthmark?" he says, his lips brushing against the mug, and Yeosang's hand immediately flies up to touch the side of his face, as if hiding it.

A beat of silence, "yeah. Don't really like it, though."

Once again, Yeosang doesn't meet his eye, and he's about to speak up but Hongjoong's faster than him, "why?"

Shrugging as if it's nothing, the boy murmurs, "kids can be assholes sometimes," but doesn't explain further. Hongjoong's eyebrows furrow, obviously confused by the statement, but San knows it too well, so before the older can print Yeosang further, he knocks his foot against Hongjoong's under the table. The boy turns to him with a raised brow but fortunately keeps silent.

"Usually I dab on some foundation, but I overslept and didn't have the time to do it today," Yeosang admits, and San almost laughs at how much their priorities differ. Even late, he wouldn't show up with a bare face, something that all of his classmates probably realized at this point.

"It's cute, though," he comments, earning himself a confused side eye from the other, "your birthmark, I mean."

"Oh," and Yeosang looks away again, "thank you," he says, but it doesn't take a genius to realize he doesn't really believe San.

Someday, he thinks, he's going to make Yeosang believe him.

➳

Its raining outside, and the suit is sticking to his skin as he steps inside their base. The wet texture of it feels uncomfortable against his body, but it's not like he has any other suit to change into, so he guesses he'll have to manage.

He's just finished his patrol, the night almost suspiciously calm through the entirety of it. It's not that he's bitter he had to leave his dorm for absolutely no reason on such a rainfall, having to soak in it while apparently everyone's decided it's not worth it to do crime in this kind of weather, butㅡ yeah, he kind of is.

But now, the only thing he has to do now is to report to Yunho and he can reunite with the love of his life (his bed).

Except, before he can do that, he hears a muffled sound from inside the conference room, not unlike the scraping of a chair against wooden floor, and he only hesitates for a second before making his way over.

Hand heavy from nerves, he opens the door and slowly walks inside, eyes searching for the source of the soundㅡ before they lock on a figure hunched over by the side of the table.

"Sagittarius?"

The Super's head snaps up, as if he's only just noticed his presence, even though San didn't even try to sneak in. His eyes are opened wide, alarmed, and he only seems a tiny bit relieved when he recognizes San.

"Cancer? What are you doing here?" he calls out, shoulders stiff as he leans against the table. Obviously, he's far from relaxed, and that paired with the recent events doesn't fail in making San worried.

"I just got back from my patrol," he explains, as there's no reason for him to hide it, and he chances a step closer, reminded of the way the other Super behaved last time he's seen him here, "why are you here, though? I thought you were sent off duty for the next few days."

That made sense, in his mind at least. Maybe no one has told him anything similiar to that, but that's usually what happens after any of them get injured, so why would Sagittarius be any different?

"I justㅡ I don't know," the other admits, tipping his head down as his voice drops to a whisper, "why _am_ I here, really?"

San wasn't supposed to hear that. He's pretty sure of the fact. And the fact he's heard it, the fact that Sagittarius seems confused about it too ㅡ it's like an alarm being set off at the back of his mind, red flags waving wildly, and he almost wants to stay away, in a safe distance from the otherㅡ but why? It's only Sagittarius. His fellow member of ATEEZ, someone San's learned to literally trust with his life. Why does he suddenly feel like it's Sagittarius that San needs to be wary of?

"Are you still shaken up about what happened?" he chances, the Super's eyes lifting up to meet his gaze again. He hesitates visibly, before nodding, a beat too late.

"I think so."

Just what, for the love of God, is happening with Sagittarius?

Stepping closer, he reaches out his hand to the other, aiming forㅡ what, exactly? A reassuring pat on the shoulder? Maybe, maybe something else. But that's what he sets on doing, and for the record, Sagitarrius doesn't flinch, seems to relax a bit more, even.

There's so many questions he wants to ask at the moment.

_What happened?_

_Will you tell me now?_

_What's going on with you?_

_Are you okay?_

In the end, he decides on the last one.

Turning his head away from San, the Super seems to find comfort in hiding his face, so San doesn't call him out on it. He takes a deep breath, the muscles of his shoulders flexing before he exhales slowly, the tension slipping away again, even if only for a second.

When he replies, he still seems on the edge.

"I'm not sure," another vague answer. San kind of wants to pull his hair out of frustration. Instead, he mimics the other, taking a calming breath himself, before pushing again.

"What happened? The last time, when you got injured," he pries, tugging at the other's suit lightly to make sure he has the Super's attention, "you never explained why you seemed to scared. Did anything happen with the Illusioniㅡ"

The only warning he gets is Sagittarius's back tending again at the name, before he's being pushed back.

Slamming against the wall, he winces at the pain that shoots through his head at the collision. Paired with the strain of the wet suit, it feels as if there's nothing to weaken the impact, and it's as if he blacks out for a second, too confused to truly register the situation. The next thing he knows, there's a pair of hands at his throat, fingers circling it tightly and cutting off his access to air.

Lifting his arms, he grabs at the other's wrists, trying to push them away, but the Super's grip on his neck doesn't budge, and the entire situation feels both surreal and so fucking terryfing, because he can't hear anything over his own heartbeat, the sound of his blood rushing deafening through his ears, and he tries to kick at the other. To stop him, to get him away, _anything_ , really.

And it hurts. It hurts, obviously, it wouldn't make sense for it not to ㅡ but it's nothing compared to the betrayal he feels deep in his chest as he meets Sagittarius' icy cold gaze.

It's nothing like he knows.

Sagittarius never looked at him this way. Not with such deep hatred, and San would like to think that's not what the other feels towards him. Actually, no, he _knows_ that's not it. He's sure of it.

So what the _fuck_ is happening right now?

His lips part as he tries to call his name, but no sound comes out, and, okay, he knows, he's literally getting chocked, why would he even consider trying ㅡ but that's when something changes in Sagittarius' eyes.

It's like a flicker being pushed, the light turning back on. All of the emotions drain from his face for a second, until his eyes flicker down and all of it gets replaced by horror.

As Sagittarius jerks away, San's pulled along due to his grip on the other's wrists, before the other's suit slips away from his fingers and he falls back onto the wall. If not for it, he's pretty sure he'd just fall over completely.

And the other is staring at him with such terror in his eyes, it suddenly almost feels as if it's San that's been choking him, not the other way around.

"No," he murmurs, standing still for what feels like an eternity, before lifting his hands slowly and locking his gaze on them, "oh no. No, no, _shit, no_."

It's easy to tell when the panic truly hits, as his voice gets higher, his words more jumbled and less audible. San's pretty sure it's still nothing else than a litany of _no_ 's and occasional curse words, but it's hard to pay attension when he feels like a second away from fainting, even though he finally can breathe again.

It all happens so quickly, he has no idea what to think of it. He doesn't know, should he shout, should he call anyone from their team, should he check up on Sagittarius, should he ask what the _hell_ that wasㅡ

But the time is slipping away, and as he's lost in his own thoughts, Sagittarius' breathing grows shallow and uneven, his fingers now gripping at his hair, the hat knocked away without a single thought, and when did he even do that in the first place? San didn't notice.

The Super seems a second away from a panic attack, for crying out loud, but that only manages to freeze San on the spot. Whatever Sagittarius is saying now, it doesn't sound anything like words.

Before San has the time to decide what to do, Sagittarius whirls around and flees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...sorry?
> 
> [tumblr](https://starryhwa.tumblr.com/) / [twitter](https://twitter.com/heartjoongs) / [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/heartjoongs)
> 
> fun fact! the last part was actually meant to be the ending of chapter one. this fic got kinda longer, though, huh  
>  btw i didn't proofread any of this so i hope it didn't suck ngdkjsgnkjsn


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